Welcome to the Hebrides

Here is your new ferry
It will sail to any Scottish port
Apart from the one
You are booked to go

Sip your G&T
In amongst the bacon and egg
as the ship heaves in the Minch
and you do too in sympathy

Land at beautiful Glumag
An industrial wasteland
At the start of
your activity holiday

Walk into Stornoway
Five miles is all
Through the Castle Grounds
in the dark

No buses go to Arnish
It's a single-track road
Used by lorries
and the lighthouse board

Behold the berth
where no ferry
known to man
can dock

Your destination's now in sight
will your landlady let you in at 3 am?
Welcome to the Hebrides
courtesy Calmac's Loch Seaforth.

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