Barbara -5
At what is now left
in memories
and pictures
Summer days in the sun
Snow covered nights in winter
Spume screaming past in autumn
Flowers bursting out in spring
Your smile sings out
from beyond the void
I'm reminded of you
at every turn
The valley of the salmon
Was the last you saw
outside your house
that August day
The moor beyond
and the distant Atlantic
would not see you again
after that time
I'm left with glances
into the past
that I can no longer
remind you of
Your stories
are now beyond me
of people that were
already beyond you
I love you to bits
although you're not here
you were the best
you were a good girl
Barbara - 4
And I still miss her smile, her encouragement and the simple life we had. I still admire her determination to carry on. It must have been hard for her to have given up on her garden, her kitchen and all the other things that gave her such joy. But at times, she could barely keep her head up, so much was she deprived of strength. I go upstairs at night, and sometimes I think I catch a glance of her there. I still see her wizened little form sitting on the bed, asking me to lift her legs onto the bed. And that took no effort on my part. I would come into the room, and she'd ask "who's there" and upon being told "Guido", Barbara would respond "that's nice!". We had a good laugh that last evening, when I returned from a brief jaunt around the bay. Before the darkness enveloped her, she hugged me and told me "you're a clever boy, that's our secret". I helped calm her down, she often said. And I helped calm her down, right at the end by calling for medical help, to dispel all the demons that beset those who are dying of a terminal illness, so she could slip away peacefully. I wasn't there at the end, that was purely for her immediate relatives. Her spirit flew off into the light of the rising sun, and I knew she was at peace. I looked out over the sea, smooth as a mirror that morning, the sea she always wanted to be near to.
Barbara - 3
I saw the light coming
as you
were leaving
You meant so much
for so many people
you were so much
to so many people
The sea was smooth
as you fled away
from decline and suffering
from old age and pain
The sun shone brightly
as it met your soul
soaring high
to Tir nan Og
Many a day
I shall still miss you
Much will remind me
of halcyon days with you
I shall go on from here
leaving you behind
as you dreaded
being left behind yourself
You're now a constant
upon which I can change
I'll never forget
what you have meant to me
I miss you
but that's fine
I'll always remember you
for who you were
Hallowe'en 2020
One day, a carpenter walked over the hills of Harris from his home at
Bogha Ghlas on Loch Seaforth to Luachair, on the shores of Loch Reasort. After
finishing the job at one of the houses there, the people told him to take any
remaining planks with him. On the way back, his footsteps on the rough track
came regularly, but what was that strange echo? Intermittent echoes of the
footfalls? No, couldn't be. A double take on each footstep? Not either. Tap
tap. Tap tap. The man shifted the planks on his shoulder to adjust for balance
and continued. The dark face of Stulabhal reared up ever closer, and he thought
the tapping sound was an echo of his footsteps from that great rockface. He had
not experienced that before, having made the journey many times before. But his
mind was in such turmoil that he could not remember that. The great empty
valley of Langadale stretched before him, but his descent to the river, nor the
crossing, nor the ascent to Vigadale remained with him. All he heard was
tap-tap, tap-tap.
The sun was once more setting by the time the carpenter reached the bridge at
Bogha Ghlas. He saw his cottage ahead, but there was no light inside, nor any
sign of motion outside. The approach of any passer-by was usually sufficient to
bring his wife outside, but not that day. The 'tap-tap' that had been haunting
the man since leaving Luachair had gradually ceased. He threw the planks off
his shoulder, and they fell to the ground in a loudly clattering heap. He
called for his wife, but heard nothing. Opening the door, the cottage was dark,
the fire cold. The bed was occupied, but there was not a living soul about.
Tap tap. Tap tap. The next morning, the carpenter was hammering a coffin for
his spouse. And he suddenly remembered what the noise was he had been hearing
all the way from Luachair the day before. Tap tap. Tap tap. The noise of his
hammer, building a coffin. The noise of the carpenter's hammer, over in
Luachair, as it too built a coffin for its master.
Barbara - 2
The sun had just risen
and took your light
with it
beyond our sphere of being
All I'm left with is
memories
reminders
echoes
What was needed
to make you comfortable
as the year wore
you down
The implements
of mobility
now stand
still
The heater
is cold
The hot water bottles
no longer needed
I look around me
and see you
the way you were
for all those years
A room
empty of you
except for
your things
A sunny corner
the sea whispers nearby
here you rest
until the Breaking of the Day
In memoriam Barbara
On 6 October this year, I lost my close friend Barbara. She passed away after an 11-month battle with cancer.
I brought you to your final resting place
under the sun
in the wind
by the sea
I was with you
when you were terrified
warding off
the oncoming darkness
I made you laugh
at sunset
on your final day
we laughed as light left us
I encouraged you
each night
as you struggled
up the stairs
With a stick
hauling yourself
around the pillar
bereft of strength
I sat with you
watching
detectives
and gameshows
I loved it
when you came along
for that final carride
up to the top of the moor
Your fight
was valiant
right
to the very end
National Poetry Day 2020
Washing over the moors
like waves of green
the swells of peat
formed from aeons of plantlife
Founded over ancient rocks
dating back to the start
of our very planet
the peat stretches for miles
A swirl of scented smoke
is the first release
of solar energy
captured in the chlorophyll of yore
Autumn 2020
With a flourish of rain
a sweep of wind
and a breath of cold
Darkness is encroaching
through our evenings
the mornings darker
every day get
The birds are flocking
ready for the off
others will flock in
to rest here for winter
As life fades steadily
leaves turn from green
white horses ride the waves
in the harbour across the wall
The last week
of the seventh month
summer's over
welcome autumn
September thoughts
Summer memory
stands empty
of you
in the sunset light
The road echoes
to the memory
of your feet and dance
and laughter
The machair sighs
under the winds
of this world
where the sea roils ashore
Your feet still tread
Your happiness lingers
The marram grass rustles
to the tunes you made
She who knows all
is at the Window on the West
for when you return
you'll never be apart again
July remembrance
The memory
of the darkened house
and the starlit sky
The roads are now quiet
the beaches deserted
the machair flowers wave
calling out your name
Enhanced by your memory
your music and spirit
We espy the mermaid
in eternal seas, singing of life
She who knows all
awaits at the Window on the West
as we that are left behind
smile wistfully at your memory
Winter and decline
days growing short
whizzing by
at a rate of knots
Fighting each day
some of them good
more of them bad
a little boost sometime
I wander about
look at places
we used to go
where you won't go again
Your world has now shrunk
to just four familiar walls
of many years
your homely abode
Not much left of you now
Not much left for you now
Those you have missed
over many hard years
Will be waiting
to welcome you home
under the stars
by the endless sea
Wishes
under wintering stars
or in the gloaming
of the Hebridean sky
I'm sometimes reminded
of you
of your voice
what you stood for
I knew of your wishes
one was not granted
but your love
was not unspent
Maybe a visit
to old Stornoway,
to old haunts
on antipodean shores
As the daylight
lingers through the night
your memory
lives on in us all
She who knows all,
your faithful companion,
will rejoin you
beyond the Rainbow Bridge
After you finally stride
down the garden path
to collect her
from her forever home
In memory
glistens under the full moon
The surf runs up
to the wreath of kelp
Your steps dance along
the dunes' sand
the marram grass bows
in the midnight breeze
The birds' voices
are your voice
the seals' call
is your call
The lighthouses wink
lighting up
the dark springtime
seas
The Window on the West
frames your memory
the world wide web
retains your voice
She who knows all
is safely ensconced
your memory is in her
as it is in us all
Swim strong
mermaid
We'll be here
who have known you
The Year of Silence
blindingly
from the westering sky
down the gleaming street
But none would come
that would now have come
On however many wheels
or on happy feet
The boat that carried them
now carries none
the way is closed
although it is still open
The excited faces
sometimes a lil green
other times tired
Always pleased to have come
now will not come
our summer will be
empty
still of voices and faces
The whacky bus
the hired cars
the taxi hired
from the plane
Even the ships
of hundreds
the music lovers
of thousands
None will now come
The island is silent
Imperviously
the Stones will Stand
The Year of Silence
Let's hope it's but one
till our cheerful friends
are welcomed to return
Remembering Sophia
Yet you were there
Darkness had fallen
but we needed no light
The late night radio
tinkled out
the closing strains
of Sailing By
I could not see you
But we were close
The wind blew
The rain lashed
Oblivious but
to each other
I would not
could not leave
Knowing that
by leaving,
I'd leave you
for good
I was lost
in the darkness
but your voice
guided me
The Window on the West
I would not see again
neither she
who knows all
I would meet you once more
in the House of Music
once more embracing
almost not letting go
Knowing that
by leaving,
I'd leave you
for good
That night in November
you swam away
she who knows all
knew what she had lost
Looking out each night
waiting for your steps
to come striding
up the path
As one day you will
return to collect your companion
from her new forever home
to cross the Rainbow Bridge
The year of silence
longer hours each day
The wind is in hiding
the lambs gambol
Nobody stirs abroad
A curious line of people
stretches, 7 feet apart,
to a familiar door
The ferry brings no-one
The ferry takes no-one
The brightly sprightly
visitors will not come
Each day now
is Sunday
except it is
not Sunday
Even the churches
are closed
all is shut
until further notice
The year of silence
the year of silent fear
who will be next
do we know who
March 2020
you would have been delighted
the lambs will soon gambol
round the machairlands
The sun rises early now
caressing the Window on the East
her smile tells me
you are there for us all
The curved beach at Balranald
whispers your name
covers your footsteps
where you left so many
In touch with mother Earth
along the roadside in Horgabost
the barren rock
touched your bare feet
You are still there
where I first met you
at the Window on the West
as the light fades into sunset
You will always be there
in the machairlands of the west
where the grasses talk of your songs
and the flowers long for your return
She who knows all
patiently waits in her new forever home
you'll come to collect her one day
and you'll both go over the Rainbow Bridge.
February 2020 - II
The sun has made its promised return
Headed north
soon past the equator
Daylight now past 6pm
Not long now till the equinox
Snow will come
and more high winds
The grass is brown
rustling horizontal
in the unceasing
gales of the northwest
Hailstones dance
in a fandango with the wind
but crows are nesting
and lambs will soon be here
As the days open out
the machair is empty
the roads derelict
the beaches waveswept
The Window on the West
is framing the setting sun
in a house now empty
of your voice but by memory
She who knows all
is awaiting patiently
in her forever home
for your promised return
February 2020
waves thunder ashore
snow patters
wet against the windows
Light is returning
from solstician gloom
but winter fights hard
to retain its icy grasp
The Window on the West
remains empty
She who knows all
patiently waits
The house on the shore
time bends you down
struggling on valiantly
where age ravages
Day drags by day
on the sloped street
where the circle decreases
as it goes round in time
I cannot retrieve
what has long since
been lost
hard though I try
The wind blows hard
the sheets of icy rain
lash the cobbled road
along which I stumble on
The passage of time
quietly
the hands turn
imperceptibly
The hours go by
the sun rises and sets
days flow into weeks
months into years
Another year
has crept round
flown by
almost to completion
No not Hogmanay
I was reminded today
of the passage of time
time that is limited
A flashback I saw
of someone close
to you
who went on ahead
A reminder
what the years
can do
have done
Your spirit is strong
your body is not
the years are
claiming it
You're battling on
not one for giving up
but I can see now
what time will do
January 2020
when I met you, all those years ago
in the sunset
along the lonely road
You took me in
in total trust
and confidence
that I would not betray
We talked
as the sun set
and darkness rose
into the March night
She who knows all
was by your side
only young then
much wiser now
In the wee town
we met again
and for a final time
for music and song
You disappeared
through the thronged door
never for me to see you
again
Your music remains
as does your memory
I know you're there
when times are hard
She who knows all
patiently waits
at the Window on the West
for your eventual return